Cultivating Self Love

©Heather Lynn. All rights reserved.

How many of us out there have sabotaged relationships because we were afraid of being abandoned?

There seems to be a rash of books, blogs and articles about “Self-Love”. You may read about it all you want and still not feel the love. Let’s look at this and see if we can’t muster up a little love and smother it onto our stubborn hearts.

First, we must be open to receiving love, this is the huge! I get it, we have all been heartbroken at some point in our lives. Maybe it was our parents, best friend, or perhaps our first love. Maybe our dog or cat ran away and left us behind. Abandonment is one of the key ingredients causing the self-love ills.

How many of us out there have sabotaged relationships because we were afraid of being abandoned? When we feel ourselves getting too close, we do something stupid in order to release the fear.

When we love someone with all our heart (mind, body & soul), we tend to be in a very sacred and vulnerable space. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can become sensitive and our emotions are then heightened and perhaps even electrified. We begin to internalize and analyze our fears, and perhaps even create drama. We tell ourselves we are not good enough. We begin to feel the same emotions, as if we are once again abandoned, from previous relationships and or other sensitive and hurtful experiences in our lives. The hurt may rise to the surface (like the bubbles from boiling water) and flood all facets of the rationality we had left.

This is heavy stuff, right. We ALWAYS have the power to erase the doubt and internal struggles. To do this, you must go back to those moments in time when you felt abandoned and tell your “inner child(ren)” they are safe. Tell them that you love them just the way they are. Giving them virtual hugs, surrounding them with unconditional love and letting them know they are always protected. This may sound a bit out of the ordinary, but, it honestly works.

Although I am not a licensed counselor or a physician. I have done this work and it has proved beneficial for me. Find someone who might assist you with this valuable process if you would like to try it.

When you release anxiety from your past, you can then surround yourself with the love you have been missing. Visualize filling the abandonment holes that you just released with love and security.

We are all unique, there is nobody else like us in this world. We are the master of your lives, our emotions. We have the power to choose how we feel.

Love yourself with all your might. Love yourself unconditionally. Love yourself first, before anyone else. This is not an egotistical love. This is not a love full of judgement. This is a love that allows you to let go of expectations and just be one with you. When you love “YOU”, you become open to loving others.

We are all full of pure awesomeness, each one of us. When we love ourselves, we can begin to connect with our deepest desires and create the life each and every one of us deserves. We might even find ourselves engaging in more in our lives and we might even catch ourselves smiling in the mirror.

Have you ever passed by someone who was smiling and happy, it is quite contagious. Self-love is attractive because that person displays a confidence that is only achievable when you are unconditionally in love with “YOU”.

A few tips on how to find the inner self-love:

1) When you are brushing your teeth (assuming you do this upon wakening or at all) watch yourself in the mirror and muster up the courage to say, “I love you” and mean it!

2) Eat healthy & exercise daily to let your mind, body & soul really know how much you love them!

3) Find affirmations that really resonate with you and write them down and say them to yourself daily. Choose a new one each day.

4) Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging friends. This is important. If there is someone in your life who isn’t this way toward you, release them.

5) Meditate — if only for 5 minutes a day. If you don’t know how, read about it. It’s easy and will make you feel amazing!

6) Be in nature. Surround yourself with trees, flowers and the smells of the outdoors. Go on a walk and be present.

7) Leave yourself affirmation notes in special places throughout your home, car, work, etc.

8) Do something that invigorates you each day!

9) Listen to music that soothes your soul and uplifts you. I love Panache Desai’s “ 8-minute Soul Jump Start”…it will make you smile.

10) Do something wonderful and spontaneous for someone.

You are Pure Awesomeness…don’t ever forget that!